Friday, March 14, 2008

I Love Driving in Japan!

Pictured: FAG Motors in Odawara, courtesy of Chris Zanella

By Kevin Burns

Anyone can follow the rules, but Japanese Drivers Make Their Own Rules!

Stop signs back home mean stop, Stop signs in Japan are Optional!

Red lights, smed lights, Red lights --they are Optional too!

To Japanese green is blue (go figure?)

Green lights mean go.

Yellow lights mean go.

Even red lights mean go!

I love it here! I never stop for anything!

...Well except for them monster trucks. I mean they are big.

Okay we can`t turn on a red that is a bummer,
and I miss that when I drive in Japan.

But pedestrians, smedestrians, ignore `em!

If they dare to cross, screw `em, you can drive faster!
I Like to see them Run!

Hit one you get 50 points.
Two for a dollar!
(or 150 Yen, the yen is very strong these days)

What about the police you say?

They don`t do anything.

No they ain`t sipping coffee and horking down donuts
at Tim Hortons,
they be checking seat belts,
and at the exact same location and time every week!!!!!
I love Japan!!!!

So you know that at 3:30PM on Tuesday they will be at the tunnel,
and at 5:30PM on Friday they will be at the bridge as usual!
I`ve even gotten to know them because I see them all the time.
"Hi Hiroshi! How`s the wife and kids."

"Okage same de," he`ll say with his usual smile,
as he pulls over some poor schmuck from Kawasaki
who doesn`t know that Friday evening is bridge day in Odawara.
Poor guy,
someone should have posted the schedule for him on the internet.
Maybe that is my task for today.

I love the bosozoku too. They do whatever they want!

And what do the police do?

They don`t do a thing!
One policeman at the police station told me honestly,
they don`t do anything about them.
The law favours the bosozoku should he get injured while the police are persuing them.

One policeman in Fujisawa lost his job over it!
(Apparently a true story unfortunately--Editor)
This bosozoku was driving all over the place and this
cop tried to stop him with a long stick and the bosozuku
crashed into a fence.

No the bosozuku didn`t go to jail, the policeman was fired.

So they don`t bother with the bosozoku much. Not good for job
security and Hiroshi has a pension coming up.

Let`s be honest, the Police are too busy anyway..........

They are…… too busy checking seat belts at the tunnel,
...or doing paper work in the office,
or sleeping on the futon in the back room of the Koban.

Come to think of it, I wish I had become a policeman.
I could use the extra Shut eye.

I love it here. So Sorry, gotta run, --the red light….

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